Here's my entry for Kaitlyn Sanchez's and Lydia Lukidis's 2020 Kidlit Fall Writing Frenzy:
LOST IN THE WOODS
Twigs snap under my feet. I’ve been running for so long.
I’m surrounded by trees, wrapped in mist. Will I ever see the sunlight again?
My heart races, and I stop, hands laced behind my head, opening my lungs to let air in.
I stand in a clearing. The view is the same from every angle: forest. The trees are dark, skeletal. I am one of them.
Leaves rustle off to my right, and I’m running again. I think I can smell him. My heart pounds.
My parents gave me a whistle when I was little and told me to blow it if I ever found myself lost in the woods. It’s still on a chain around my neck, tucked under my shirt and warmed by my skin. My feet hit the ground: thud, thud. I’m getting tired. I don’t know how much more I can run. I pull on the chain, free the whistle from under my shirt, put it to my lips, and blow.
The sound is thin and high, like a distant scream. The forest shifts.
Others surround me. Together, we sniff, catching the scent of fear on the wind. Together, we run, a pack hunting prey.
Here's my entry for Kaitlyn Sanchez's 2019 Kidlit Fall Writing Frenzy:
SACRIFICE
The cold numbed Jeremiah’s fingers.
Agitated, he fumbled with the rope.
Darkness was coming.
He had to hurry, or he’d be in
danger. Once the last sliver of sunlight slipped behind the hills, the fresh
earth in the cemetery surrounding him would shift and shiver, awakening.
The dead that Jeremiah’s community
had recently buried would claw their way out of the shallow graves. They’d be
looking for food, looking for an offering.
His breath came in heavy gasps. Muffled
cries for help were blocked by a dirty rag.
‘Why
are there so many knots in this rope?’ he wondered, frantic. His fingers were cut and
bleeding.
At last, done! And not a moment too
soon--he could hear moaning and scratching behind him. Jeremiah didn’t look back
as he ran on shaking legs to his village.
At the barricade, Jeremiah’s mother
waited with a mug of cocoa.
“You’re safe,” she told him, pushing
the thick wooden door shut.
Jeremiah nodded, shivering. He took
a sip of the sweet, rich drink.
“And your father?” she asked.
Jeremiah drank again, catching a
softened marshmallow in his mouth and biting it before answering, “I tied him
to the offering posts like you said.”
Photo by kalyan deep on Pexels.com
Nice twist!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeletePoor Dad!! Oh my goodness. I love how he is casually sipping hot cocoa while he mentions leaving his dad as an offering. Good job creating this haunting scene in so few words. Good luck with the contest!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Colleen! It's really getting me in the Halloween/Fall spirit! :)
DeleteWhoa! Very intriguing, Jolene. Good luck in the contest. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Gayle! :)
DeleteWhoa! Chilling! I did not see that coming. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Monica!
DeleteTerrifically terrifying, Jolene! Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kari Ann!
DeleteEek! Well done. It's early morning, the sun is shining and I have the scary story chills. I also have a fifth grade buddy who would love this story. I will share your your blog post with him.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear this, Sarah! I appreciate you sharing it with him. :)
DeleteCreepy! Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Susan!
DeleteI had to read that last line a couple times—was not expecting that! Great job, Jolene! I really want to know more now, lol
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Candice! :)
DeleteI never saw that ending coming! Yikes, poor dad. :) Nice job.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Melissa! :)
DeleteYou created such a creepy feeling! Well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading, Rose!
DeleteAt first, I thought Jeremiah was a goner, but it turns out he's a survivor. Your cinematic and no-holds-barred story reads like The Lottery by Shirley Jackson meets The Walking Dead. Creeptastic!
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness, Anne, thank you so much! The Lottery is one of my favorite stories and was one of the pieces I had in mind when writing Sacrifice. I'm so happy you picked up on that.
DeleteCreepy and vivid! Love the twist.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Sarah! :)
DeleteFantastic! You've really set the mood, Jolene.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Cathy!
DeleteScary! Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWhoa, what an unexpected ending. Scary good.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you so much, Kathy! :)
DeleteOH no Poor Dad! spooky.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reading, Lauri! :)
DeleteI love the atmosphere in this piece. And the ending!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Heather! <3
DeleteGreat tension!! I felt my heart beat speed up! Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kelly!
DeleteOoooh! Very creepy and fun ending. This was very engaging to read, Jolene!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Sarah! <3
DeleteYour 2020 story leaves us with mystery and intrigue! Enjoyed reading this, Jolene! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Alicia! :)
DeleteYikes! Very scary! This is my favorite line--The sound is thin and high, like a distant scream.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Janie! :)
DeleteGreat job creating mystery in just a few words!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Melissa!
DeleteYes! This has me in my ideal spooky spirit! And scary stuff is always better with a twist. Great work and amazing atmosphere!
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you so much for your kind words! :)
DeleteVery mysterious and spooky! That whistle! I'm not counting on it for saving anyone...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kathi! And you're so right about that whistle, Kathi.
DeleteEngaging and suspenseful! Love the twist :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Charlotte! :)
DeleteEek! I can definitely feel the tension!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Nicole! :)
DeleteWow! You had me hooked with that exciting first line. Love the suspense and descriptive language. I think there’s more to this story that I want to find out :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Amanda!! I appreciate your kind words. :)
DeleteYour 2020 story is wildly eerie and evocative, Jolene, and a wonderful companion to your chilling 2019 tale of terror. The vivid action and description really pull the reader along on this hair-raising chase. (The trees are dark, skeletal. I am one of them.) And oh, my beating heart, what a dramatic 180-degree twist at the end. "When the forest shifts," so does our entire perspective on everything that came before. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words, Anne. Your comments are always so perceptive, and I'm grateful that you understand my work, even the darkest pieces. <3
DeleteWow, what a twist! That's a whole different level of "in the doghouse," lol. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Brenda! :)
DeleteWhoa, you sure know how to twist an ending, Jolene! Great job on creating a spooky atmosphere. I especially adored "The trees are skeletal. I am one of them." So eerie! Though I wouldn't be too upset if the prey gets a chance to escape when the pack comes to find our narrator ;)
ReplyDelete<3 Thank you so much, Candice!!
DeleteSuch atmosphere and tension in so few words - loved it!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Claire! :)
DeleteSo dark and empowering, gosh I'm glad the MC escaped and the twist of the MC now being the hunter, interesting for sure, gives me a The Village vibe ;) thanks for being such a wonderful support for the Fall Writing Frenzy!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kaitlyn! I'm so excited to be a part of this amazing contest again this year! <3
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